Sunday, June 5, 2011

 The life of a tucan is hard, especially the life of a tucan living a life of crime. Thats like a double or even triple life, im not sure because the noble tucan cannot concern himself with trivial things like math. Crime on the other hand i can concern myself with. Ever since we aquired our swanky crack house ive noticed a few things. One there was a lot of coke left over from all those drug dealers i killed, and two their customers kept coming up to the door and asking for drugs. Its like they thought we were some kind of house specifically for them to get their crack. I dont know what gave them that idea but these are things i cant have around my crackhouse if im going to be building a criminal organization of tucans to fight crime.
 Another thing i noticed was all the prostitutes in our neighborhood. You would think they would go to a nicer area where people could afford to pay for sex, but i do not get human logic as the tucan has evolved past such things. None the less prostitutes were my first target as a crime fighter. I lured them into the house with promises of cocaine, pictures of cocaine, and the preconcieved notion that there would be cocaine in a crackhouse. Once in the house we trapped the hookers in the closet using some bait and a complex system on string to close the door on them. Locks are not necessary because like raptors, prostitutes cant open doors. It was the perfect plan.

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